Dungeon Master Considers Ending Game for Good After Having to Beg Players to Schedule Game Nights

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Mar 13, 2024 11:30 AM EDT

'I think my thoughts are a touch petty, but I feel like I'm justified and want to get feedback' said u/MechanicalWitch after feeling frustrated that their players stopped caring about scheduling games. This user had been DMing for their friends for 3 years, and the flame had apparently died out. When OP asked their friends if everything was okay and if they were happy with the game, they all replied, 'Of course', denying there was anything wrong. But if nobody cares to schedule a game, and the last time they played was January, then obviously something is off, right?

OP said they practically had to beg to schedule games, and honestly, that just won't do. Scroll down to read the full story and comments from fellow DnD players who had some good advice. Next, check out this Dungeon Master who crafted a note for his players but totally forgot what the translation meant. Don't worry, the DnD side of the internet came to the rescue.

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  • 01
    "I practically have to beg to schedule games..." 20
    via Canva
  • 02
    Should I let my game die? 5th Edition
    via u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 03
    I think my thoughts are a touch petty, but I feel like I'm justified and want to get feedback. I've been DMing for a group of friends for about 3 or 4 years. We started during and the group consisted of one of my best friends, my brother and 2 former roommates. Scheduling has always been a struggle. We're all in our 30's and 40's, some with families and demanding jobs. When we started, one of us had gone back to school and two of us did contract work which would occasionally put either of us una
    via u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 04
    took the advice I see so often and asked if people were enjoying the game and I always had positive feedback. No one ever said they weren't enjoying it or wanted a change. Early on, one of the more difficult players to schedule around basically gave 1 day every 3rd week that worked for them. We all agreed that would work for the rest of us and ran with it. However, it didn't take long for the same issues to come up. People would cancel last minute (I know, life happens. Sometimes the person canc
    via u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 05
    favor. They made a shared spreadsheet in Google sheets where people could fill in when they're available. For a little while, this worked well. We sort of stuck to once every 3 weeks, but when people filled out the sheet, it provided flexibility and we could find an alternate day. If someone cancelled, we could easily see when we were next available. Then people stopped filling out the sheet.. Anyway, for 2 years it's been a vicious cycle. I put messages in Messenger, people don't respond. I ask
    via u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 06
    We last played in January and one of the players was going away for work for 3 weeks and said they couldn't play. I asked that player to let us know when they'd be ready to play once they're back and rested. I also asked everyone again to fill out availability. That person has been back for a month and no one has said a thing about D&D. I'm the only person who filled in when I can play. I'm done. I can't keep chasing grown adults about a game I thought we all enjoyed. Of everyone involved, I hav
    via u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 07
    it feels like I'm begging people to play. There's so much disrespect for the time I put in to try and make this work. I can't do it anymore. It's hurtful and it stresses me out. I don't know if they aren't having fun, or maybe my friends are just rude people and I've never noticed. So I'm thinking I'm just going to let the game die. I'm not sending any messages despite the urge to. If anyone messages, I'm just going to ignore it. Is this petty, or am I at all justified? My wife has seen this all
    via u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 08
    TL;DR - Been DMing for friends for 3 years. No one complains when asked. Everyone says they're happy. I practically have to beg to schedule games. AITH if I just stop asking, knowing the game will just de?
    via u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 09
    Zeoxx21 11 hr. ago Man this hurts my heart to read. You put in so much energy and get so little back. I'd say just let it drop and if no one reaches out about another session then i think you have your answer. 773 Reply Share Mechanical_Witch OP. 5 hr. ago Sadly, I feel like I've had my answer already. It hurts a lot that people I consider so close to me can't be bothered to take 2-5 minutes to write a message. 140 Reply Share
    via u/Zeoxx21, u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 10
    BigSmols 4 hr. ago Couldn't you have a serious talk with the group before dropping it? You need to tell them what you just posted. A 33 ▼ Reply Share Mechanical_Witch OP. 3 hr. ago That's my dilemma. I mentioned a while ago that scheduling is frustrating. For 3 years now I've asked at least once a month if we're all set to play, or ask people to put when they're available. Writing this whole thing to them is once again doing the same thing and begging them to play A 29 V Reply Share ...
    via u/BigSmols, u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 11
    Vylix. 10 hr. ago Evoker Sadly, this is how a lot of campaign ended. There's a reason the meme "the real enemy of DnD is scheduling" exists. Interests fade. Life gets in the way. It's never been ideal to end a campaign without closure, but seems this campaign wouldn't work out. What now? End the campaign. Put notice for all your players. Some might ask for a final session, it's up to you to fulfill that request, but if you do, YOU get to decide the date. Make it final, anyone can come and anyone
    via u/Vylix
  • 12
    It's time to put the nail in the coffin. It's been dead, perhaps months ago. You've been trying to heal a corpse. A 83 ▼ Reply Share Mechanical_Witch OP. 5 hr. ago I think closure is a big cause for frustration... They're literally maybe 3 or 4 sessions from the finale and BBEG... A 10 Reply Share
    via u/Mechanical_Witch
  • 13
    KayD12364 11 hr. ago I understand people have work and stuff, but people need to schedule regularly. Once you agree to dnd it should be like signing up for a soccer team. Here is the schedule. It doesn't change. Move your schedule around it. There are obvious reasons for not showing up for a session, but it shouldn't be the norm to cancel. My group does every Friday. There are 7 of us. Even if there are only 3 of us, we get together and do something. A small one-shot, board games. But everyone k
    via u/KayD12364
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    You can skip for kids/family reasons. Sick. Storms. If work changes your schedule. Or you're out of town. Yes, life happens, but once you get a routine of something being scheduled on a specific day every week or once a month, it shouldn't be hard to go to it. Sorry to hear about your group. And hope you found a group that is better at getting together. 139 Reply Share
    via u/KayD12364
  • 15
    tpedes 12 hr. ago I bet you'll really enjoy it when you're running a game again with people who want to play. 55 Reply Share Croveski 7 hr. ago I wrote this in another comment but this is exactly what I'm experiencing. Had two groups - one was much like what OP described, the other is (we're still playing) amazing. They make me feel like they just can't wait to play the next session and they do most of the scheduling work for me, unprompted. It feels great. Ao V 6 Reply Share ...
    via u/tpedes, u/Croveski
  • 16
    RedAnchorite · 10 hr. ago Yeah, it's hard when you feel like you're the only one putting in some effort. Personally, I'd find better players. Enthusiastic randos are so much better than apathetic friends, IMO. Those randos become friends and you become much better off. 24 Reply Share
    via u/RedAnchorite
  • 17
    Richard Blue1 11 hr. ago suggestion: it, have a final ending session. Any ending you like. 32 Reply Share DawnOnTheEdge 10 hr. ago edited 10 hr. ago Abjurer I think it's worth asking the other players when they can make it for one last session, the grand finale. Or even ask if they can make it any of three days. OP doesn't have to vent at them. Since they don't want to quit and hurt OP's feelings, OP can take the responsibility of doing that, and truthfully say they think it's time to wrap this
    via u/RichardBlue1, u/DawnOnTheEdge
  • 18
    WBCbrewskie_Sens 11 hr. ago It's absolutely insane the amount of stress I feel in situations like this. I'm a player currently, have ambitions to DM but I feel sometimes like blaming myself for being too into the game aside from others and when we don't play and I get left on read, I don't want to feel irritated but I can't really help it. That's all to say, I understand the feeling somewhat, can't imagine how you'd feel after 3-4 years when I've only been playing about 14 months. But even with
    via u/WBCbrewskie_Sens
  • 19
    D16_Nichevo 11 hr. ago I ask if the game is still fun, people say yes (I'm starting to wonder if they're trying to spare my feelings?). Your game is probably fun. Just not fun "enough". This shouldn't be hard to imagine. Think of something you like: I'm going to use ice-cream as an example. If I handed you an ice-cream, as a gift, you'd probably take it. If you had to come to me, at the end of your street, you might walk down now and again to get one. But if you had to drive an hour, and I was o
    via u/ D16_Nichevo
  • 20
    So I wouldn't leap the conclusion that you're awful as a GM. So I'm thinking I'm just going to let the game die. I'm not sending any messages despite the urge to. If anyone messages, I'm just going to ignore it. I think it's a good test overall. But if someone does message, don't ignore it. Anyone who messages may be a potential enthused player. Keep them in mind... I'd just like to know what other folks think. I've been in a similar situation. TTRPGs with IRL friends worked, but they weren't su
    via u/ D16_Nichevo
  • 21
    that disinterest in scheduling you speak of. I actually did what you did: I didn't schedule the next session. It was a test. If they were super-keen they'd say something. "Hey, when's the next session?" No-one did. And that's fine. Not an indictment on me. Or on them. They tried it, not their cup of tea, all good. At that time I decided to go online. This was pre-c but there were certainly VTTs around. I went for Roll20, posted on r/lfg, and have been playing with that group weekly since then; s
    via u/ D16_Nichevo
  • 22
    The nice thing about playing online is that you can be really fussy. GMs are in massive demand. So I did all I could to encourage and select players who -- if we go back to the analogy above -- really love ice-cream. Love it enough to reliably come back week after week. If the regular weekly games weren't "proof" enough, I have been pleasantly surprised the last two holiday seasons. Obviously schedules get tumultuous around Christmas and New Year (at least, they do western countries). So I set u
    via u/ D16_Nichevo

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